Thought I was dead, did you? Well, in a sense, you’re right! So, I started high school last Wednesday, and I don’t wanna go back tomorrow. It’s only been 3 days. And I’m dead. Hey, but at least I didn’t get lost at school. I do wonder where this school year is gonna go, though.
I haven’t been blogging much, but now that school’s started, I feel like I’m going to be blogging even less (although I wasn’t really doing anything in the first place). (Funny thing is, I keep getting followers and I haven’t been active for SO LONG.)
Honestly, high school is an experience I’m going to have a hard time describing to you all, but I’ll give it a shot.
First of all, it’s really odd being a freshman. After being an 8th grader for a year (the highest grade), it’s weird being all the way back in the youngest grade. Not only that, but you can just FEEL all the sophomores, juniors, and seniors judge you. Heck, even the freshman. It’s like you somehow know they’re calling the freshman “so young, so immature,” and it’s really intimidating.
And to make matters worse, I’m really tiny. Like, compared to everyone else, I’m probably the shortest. I was hoping there’d be at least one person shorter than me, but there were none that I could see… All the freshman entered the school super tall. Even the tallest people from my middle school are barely average height. Which makes me uncomfortable.
Although, being small isn’t really the only reason I feel uncomfortable. Most of my friends have a lunch period together… but it’s different from mine. I guess I feel slightly left out. Everyone seems to have their own groups already – they probably all came from the same school – so it’s really hard to go up to them alone. I don’t want to look (or feel) lonely, because that’s an easy way to get picked on – oh and not to mention, I feel like being small makes me seem vulnerable.
I’m not saying short people are weak, but I am saying that a lot of bigger people do tend to make fun of smaller people. And I know I shouldn’t worry about my size, and all that self-esteem boosting stuff, but in reality, it doesn’t change the fact that I still feel insecure.
Aside from the people, my classes are scaring me too. I’m taking advanced courses, and I’m afraid it could lead to very stressful nights very early in the year. I already got complex homework on the first few days of school. And the teachers are all NEW, so I have no idea what to expect from them and what they expect from me.
I’m hoping the workload isn’t TOO much. I’ve been told the first 2 years are easy in terms of work… but I don’t know what’s considered easy. Worst case scenario, I’m hoping that it’ll be as much work as last year, not more, ’cause heck, last year’s workload sucked. Some teachers say, “You might not hate me today, but you’ll hate me tomorrow, because my classes are practically college level, so be prepared.” Others say, “I try not to give a lot of work to my students, so I expect you to turn it all in,” but we all know when teachers say that, they still give a lot of assignments anyways.
Maybe later in the year (hopefully soon), I’ll find more people to hang out with. I mean, I’m planning on joining a few clubs, so maybe that’s where I’ll find people with common interests. That sounds too formal… maybe I’ll make friends in clubs. 😉
I guess I’ll wrap up this post, though. Expect more school rants from me in the future. Wish me luck! And good luck to everyone who started school and all who are going to start soon! ❤