Alright, so it’s Friday night, and I thought I’d come back from my break. I said I wanted to focus on schoolwork for the rest of the week, but that’s only a little bit of the reason I went on break. And that is… yes… drama.
I know, you’re tired of hearing my rants (honestly, I feel like that’s all I ever post) but stay with me, I have yet another. I guess you’ll hear two stories, but I’ll TRY to keep them brief.
Yesterday, one of my friends fell and had a seizure in a basketball game. 7th graders were laughing at him, imitating his seizure. I was so angry, this is NOT something you joke about. It was scary, seriously. He’s ok now, but people are making a huge deal out of it. Sure, it was a pretty big deal, but now everyone’s like, “Let’s hang up posters around the school and the park!” “Pray for him!”
But I want to get this straight… he’s not dead. He is fine, recovered quite quickly, actually. And not people think I’m heartless because I didn’t cry and I think they’re making too much of a fuss over this. Honestly. I’m not the person to cry over stuff. OF COURSE I CARE, I just didn’t cry. What’s wrong with that? And I have my own opinions. Fine, they can do their posters and whatnot, but that doesn’t mean they have to call me heartless for thinking it’s an overreaction. I don’t even think the school would give them permission to do so.
If there were posters, it would probably cause unneeded attention. By this, I mean, the disrespectful 6th and 7th graders will laugh at him, think we’re all stupid for caring.
He recovered in less than two hours and they’re treating the situation as if he had died or is on death row. It’s kind of annoying. I wouldn’t want people to make this much of a deal if this had happened to me.
Well, I won’t go into more detail because it’s kind of personal to him. On to the next… issue…
So you all know A, and if you don’t, find out about him here. There’s a few other posts, but the one I linked to has the most recent situation (apart from this post) on my “love life.”
At this point, A is completely ignoring me and I don’t even want to talk to him. Basically, on the Monday after that post, I tried to talk to him and he deliberately ignored me by talking to someone else in the middle of my sentence. I was pretty fed up, and since he overheard at the party how I felt, he already knew what I was going to say, I thought it would just be nicer to say it face to face (which he NEVER did to me – spoke face to face about stuff like this, I mean). I decided that I would give him the same treatment and ignore him… if he wanted anything solved, he would have to talk to me and not wait for me to come up and talk to him AGAIN.
He waited until the LAST moment to talk… like, seriously, everyone was telling him to talk to me (and probably why I was ignoring him) so he decides to come and talk after a whole freakin’ week, complaining that he wanted to talk to me but was too scared. Wtf. That’s all I can say.
But that was about a month ago. In our conversation, he said everything was gonna be ok and he was fine with just being friends (even though we were never in a relationship). Gosh, this sounds like a break-up when we were never really together.
Anyways, after he said “It’s ok, we can go back to being best friends. I hate not talking to you,” he basically didn’t talk to me for the past month. I mean, I’m not mad that he’s not talking to me (honestly, I don’t want to talk to him either) but it hurts that he lied to me like that. If he knew he wasn’t going to want to be around me for a while, I would’ve been ok to hear, “Listen, I hear you don’t ‘like’ me that way anymore, and I need a little time to get over it, so could we not talk for a while?” I would’ve said something similar to that, so as to actually tell the TRUTH, but, hey, my voice was completely gone, I couldn’t say ANYTHING to him.
And ever since, we haven’t talked. Well, he kept staring at me for a while afterwards, then stopped, and now he’s staring again. I thought things would be ok, ignoring each other (because I don’t really wanna be his friend anymore, anyways) but the staring… and we always hang out with the same people… it’s just awkward. What makes it even more awkward is that everyone’s saying that A and I “broke up” or “divorced” and I’m just like, WE WERE NEVER FREAKIN’ TOGETHER!
At this point… I think I need to talk to him. And I’m not telling anybody so he doesn’t overhear and prepare himself in whatever messed up way he thinks “being prepared”is. The problem is, I don’t know how to approach him (because he’s ignoring me) and I don’t know how to get the words out, because I don’t know how he’ll react. And that frustrates me, that he thought he knew everything about me (obviously he didn’t) and that he never told me anything about him (which is why I have no idea how he’ll react to different situations)…
I’m glad that I’m on spring break now, so I have 2 weeks to think this out.
I’m sorry for coming back with such a negative post, but I just need to get things off my shoulders. On the bright side, I have my Japanese speech completely memorized, and I think I’m prepared for tomorrow (the speech contest). I’ll be reading posts again (I’m not going back to see the old ones) and I’ll be posting more as well. 😉