You know I love my mother, I really do. But sometimes I just hate the way she talks to me, get annoyed with the things she does. We all do, don’t deny it.
But for the past few weeks, she’s seemed to be angry with me at every little thing I did. And quite frankly, this is making me frustrated. I really just want to yell at her and hear none of the spiteful retorts. Except I know better. She’s my mom, and I can’t yell at her.
I don’t want her yelling at me. I don’t want her to be annoyed or angry with everything I say and do. I haven’t done anything to deserve this. Or maybe I have. But how should I be aware of this?
My mom always looks at me as if she disapproves me. Not the look “I wish you were never born” but more of “You’re not acting the way I want” look. I can’t always live up to her expectations. She knows that. But she still seems to treat me like I have to be perfect, a good role model for my sister, a good family member.
I’m honestly trying my best. But between the schoolwork and stressing as I wait for high school responses, it’s hard to always be in a cheery mood. I have tons of homework, tons of projects, tons of exams. My grades are slowly going down, threatening to drop drastically at any moment before report cards. My parents never cared about my grades because they knew I was a good student, and they know I still am. But that doesn’t keep me from worrying about my grades.
Anyways, she always treats me like the stereotypical teenager. A post in which you can see my opinion on this categorizing here. If you’re too lazy to read it, I basically hate how people categorize teenager as an ungrateful, rude person who’s always on the computer or with technology. My mom treats me as if I neglect the family and don’t care about family bonding.
Of course I care! It’s not my fault all of my homework is computer based, not my fault nobody ever wants to do anything with me. After all, my sister is always watching TV, my dad always doing work, and my mom isn’t even free for me to talk to, so why does she get to judge my computer usage?
Every time she walks in the room and I’m on the computer, she gives me a look, the one I hate: “Ugh she’s a lazy, rude teenager who won’t ever get off the computer or do chores.” And that offends me. Does she know how hard it is to live up to the teachers’ expectations? Society’s expectations?
I would talk to her… but every time I try, she just starts yelling at me. Blaming me, saying I’m the one who’s always angry when all I do is live my life. Maybe I am a bit moody, maybe I am the one to blame. But why has she been annoyed with me every day for the past month with every little thing I do?
She claims she’s not mad, but I can hear in the tone of her voice, she’s not happy with me. Whatever I did or didn’t do, she never seems to like it.
I just can’t handle all this stress with additional problems with my mom. I just don’t want her to be angry, don’t want her to use that tone of voice with me all the time. I’m not “that teenager” that you seem to think I am. I WANT to spend time with the family, to meet your expectations, and I’m TRYING, but everything I do just isn’t good enough if you feel the need to get mad at me.
At this point, it’s just making me angry. Now I’m annoyed. I don’t even want to eat dinner because she cooked it, and she’ll expect me to apologize for something I haven’t done, give me that “I won” smirk because I’ll be eating her food. Her look says it all, she thinks I’m an ungrateful brat who lives off of her food and leaves. I don’t want to see her face, I don’t want to be expected to apologize, I don’t want to feel guilty for absolutely nothing.
Don’t you ever get mad at your mother and feel like she’s pressuring you to be perfect? To never get in a bad mood? Why can’t I get moody? Why can’t I be alone sometimes? Just because I’m tired and lazy and want to be left alone doesn’t mean I’m that cranky, ungrateful, rude teenager you seem to associate with the age.
14 is just a number, it doesn’t symbolize any freakin’ phase of rebelling or anything you think I am. Because I am ME. Just another person, someone who is trying to live life.