She’s Always Angry

You know I love my mother, I really do.  But sometimes I just hate the way she talks to me, get annoyed with the things she does.  We all do, don’t deny it.

But for the past few weeks, she’s seemed to be angry with me at every little thing I did.  And quite frankly, this is making me frustrated.  I really just want to yell at her and hear none of the spiteful retorts.  Except I know better.  She’s my mom, and I can’t yell at her.

I don’t want her yelling at me.  I don’t want her to be annoyed or angry with everything I say and do.  I haven’t done anything to deserve this.  Or maybe I have.  But how should I be aware of this?

My mom always looks at me as if she disapproves me.  Not the look “I wish you were never born” but more of “You’re not acting the way I want” look.  I can’t always live up to her expectations.  She knows that.  But she still seems to treat me like I have to be perfect, a good role model for my sister, a good family member.

I’m honestly trying my best.  But between the schoolwork and stressing as I wait for high school responses, it’s hard to always be in a cheery mood.  I have tons of homework, tons of projects, tons of exams.  My grades are slowly going down, threatening to drop drastically at any moment before report cards.  My parents never cared about my grades because they knew I was a good student, and they know I still am.  But that doesn’t keep me from worrying about my grades.

Anyways, she always treats me like the stereotypical teenager.  A post in which you can see my opinion on this categorizing here.  If you’re too lazy to read it, I basically hate how people categorize teenager as an ungrateful, rude person who’s always on the computer or with technology.  My mom treats me as if I neglect the family and don’t care about family bonding.

Of course I care!  It’s not my fault all of my homework is computer based, not my fault nobody ever wants to do anything with me.  After all, my sister is always watching TV, my dad always doing work, and my mom isn’t even free for me to talk to, so why does she get to judge my computer usage?

Every time she walks in the room and I’m on the computer, she gives me a look, the one I hate: “Ugh she’s a lazy, rude teenager who won’t ever get off the computer or do chores.”  And that offends me.  Does she know how hard it is to live up to the teachers’ expectations?  Society’s expectations?

I would talk to her… but every time I try, she just starts yelling at me.  Blaming me, saying I’m the one who’s always angry when all I do is live my life.  Maybe I am a bit moody, maybe I am the one to blame.  But why has she been annoyed with me every day for the past month with every little thing I do?

She claims she’s not mad, but I can hear in the tone of her voice, she’s not happy with me.  Whatever I did or didn’t do, she never seems to like it.

I just can’t handle all this stress with additional problems with my mom.  I just don’t want her to be angry, don’t want her to use that tone of voice with me all the time.  I’m not “that teenager” that you seem to think I am.  I WANT to spend time with the family, to meet your expectations, and I’m TRYING, but everything I do just isn’t good enough if you feel the need to get mad at me.

At this point, it’s just making me angry.  Now I’m annoyed.  I don’t even want to eat dinner because she cooked it, and she’ll expect me to apologize for something I haven’t done, give me that “I won” smirk because I’ll be eating her food.  Her look says it all, she thinks I’m an ungrateful brat who lives off of her food and leaves.  I don’t want to see her face, I don’t want to be expected to apologize, I don’t want to feel guilty for absolutely nothing.

Don’t you ever get mad at your mother and feel like she’s pressuring you to be perfect?  To never get in a bad mood?  Why can’t I get moody?  Why can’t I be alone sometimes?  Just because I’m tired and lazy and want to be left alone doesn’t mean I’m that cranky, ungrateful, rude teenager you seem to associate with the age.

14 is just a number, it doesn’t symbolize any freakin’ phase of rebelling or anything you think I am.  Because I am ME.  Just another person, someone who is trying to live life.

Sayonara! ~Annabeth♥

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42 thoughts on “She’s Always Angry

  1. That is so true.
    How I feel.
    I completely understand.
    Like, why the heck does she need to make you feel worse after all the work there’s to be done, how hard you’re trying. Life is hard.
    It will get worse before it gets better.
    It’s quite true, my mom used to always be screaming at absolutely NOTHING. NOTHING.
    Anything I do, anything i freaking DIDN’t do was bad.
    But it’s mostly over now, and she’s more understanding.
    Maybe that will be the same case. I hope so ;-;

    Liked by 2 people

    1. She’s usually understanding, but right now she just seems to be angry with me for nothing at all. All I said to her today was, “Why do you always pick me up at 5?” (because she gets off of work at 4:30 and it only takes 15 minutes to get to my school) and all of a sudden she thought I was being sassy and ungrateful and started yelling at me! I was just curious as to why it takes so long, there’s no traffic. And I didn’t really care why, I just wanted to know… out of curiosity. And then I told her she’s always yelling at me, and then she started yelling at me that it wasn’t true and that I’M the one who’s always snappy. -.-

      Liked by 2 people

          1. i know the feeling.
            try just being super nice, and if when she seems a bit calmer or more tired, approach her with a suggestion nicely. Maybe bring her water or something to keep her mouth occupied while you talk 😉 😉

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  2. if you don’t bother her for a while then she’d probably be go back to normal
    but sometimes mothers do that, and you can’t blame them because children stress them out (especially teenagers, they’re going through puberty so they are moody and stuff)
    just let her chill for a while

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m trying not to bother her, but she gets mad that I seem to neglect the family. But whenever I try to spend time with them, they’re too busy.
      And I know I can be stressful, but can’t she understand that I’m going through a lot of stress, too? At least so that she doesn’t yell at me for every little thing I do.

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    1. My mom just seems to get angry at me that I’m always on the computer. But all my schoolwork is computer based, and while I’m on the computer doing work, I might as well have a “life” lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. this..
    this reminds me of the days when my mom started being angry at me since 3rd-4th grade of Primary school
    I never understood why, I was always such an innocent, gullible child, who just wanted friends, everyone would bully me for being bilingual, and i would spend most of the days playing animal crossing city folk and never eating ;; w ;;
    and whenever i used to eat lunch with my family, my mom will yell at me (she was having personal problems, blame my older sis for that :/) for no reason at all, and i wouldjust sometimes skip lunch to avoid the drama between my mom and my sis and lock up myself in my room.
    then came deppressional year aka 5th garde, where I isolated myself and got serious on studying and grades, my mom also used to yell at me for that as well, i used to sit in the corner in class, everyone had “sqauds” except me, and behind my seat there were this squad and they will always laugh and make jokes etc., and i would just tear up and no one noticing how sad I was
    afterwards, i was detected with allumni (or whatever it is spelled lol) mostly because i would stay away from the fights, lunch and being bi-polar for 6 months straight.
    now, my mom is much more understanding, my sis still does some mistakes but its ok now, my bi-polar is somewhat gone, and my illness got a bit better after taking vitamins, and my mom isn’t that quite stressed, but they’re are times when she is real stressed and gets mad at me for no reason
    in fact, a few days ago a problem happened, and i had an anxiety attack and could barely move ( i locked up myself in my room ;;w;;) because i tried telling my mom to lower the volume for some music and how its against in our religion, and at the same time my younger siblings were crying and mom slapped me and took away my laptop..
    TL DR; I feel you, and I’m sorry, we’re both going thro this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, must’ve been hard, especially since it started in 3rd grade. I hope things get better. If I went to your school, I’d definitely hang out with you, you’re awesome! And it’s not right that she hit you, I’m sorry about that. We’ll get through this together! 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  4. This is exactly how I feel sometimes with my mother as well, but on a lesser degree. I think you should just give her some time to “cool off” from what ever phase she is going through, and maybe even chat with her about how you are feeling with her attitude towards you and everything. Not in a disrespectful way, morel like a mother daughter kind of talk.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, she came and apologized. When that happened, I just burst into tears and went into a whole rant about how stressed I am. Thankfully she didn’t get mad and yell at me, sometimes I just overthink things.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It seems lots of people have parents with bad tempers. But having a sibling isn’t always the best. Being the older sister, all my little sister’s friends think I’m a monster and they hate me, when I didn’t do anything to them. And my parents expect so much from me, plus I have to set a good example, not let my sister get better than me at everything, blah blah blah, so much stress. She’s already taller than me and is way better at art than I was at her age. *sigh*

      Liked by 1 person

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