Dealing With Life

Life truly can be difficult.  And this week proves no different.

So, there’s a lot on my mind, and I can’t guarantee this post will be short, nor will it be organized.  But let’s start off.

So, again, I apologize for my lack of activity.  I still have one more week of school and then a week break.  They’re putting a lot of projects on us right now, so I’m trying to be as active as possible, but it’s not much.  :\

Anyways, I won’t torture you with a long post about boy problems, so I’ll keep it to one paragraph… hopefully a short one which won’t work out.

You all know the guy I’m talking about (I hope) and I don’t really have any feelings for him anymore… I just want to be his friend again, go back to normal, before I started “liking” him.  But apparently he overheard me talking to my friends about it at a party… I knew he heard, but I didn’t want to tell him until Monday.

Then on Monday, I tried talking to him (and he knew what was coming) so he kept avoiding me and whenever I tried to talk, he found someone else, a completely random stranger even, and started chatting.  Like WTF DO YOU NOT EVEN WANNA BE FRIENDS ANYMORE!!  He told his mom (don’t ask how I found out) that he wanted to be friends if I wasn’t interesting in a relationship, so why does he think he can ignore me when I’M TRYING TO TELL HIM SOMETHING.  You don’t ignore friends or people you have a crush on like that!

He tells EVERYONE that he wants to talk to me, yet he doesn’t even commit to his words. -.-  I decided that if he wanted to talk to me and won’t listen when I speak first, I’ll just wait… and wait… BUT I’M FLIPPING DONE WAITING!  He had 2 months to ask me out knowing I could date and I would say yes, but he did NOTHING.  He was DESPERATE for me to be his girlfriend so why did he wait?  Who cares, he lost his chance.

And now, I’m giving him ONLY tomorrow, otherwise I’m not even willing to be his friend.  We’ll start over, and I’ll treat him as if I just met him.  No secrets, no alone time, nothing.  He’ll just be another person who hangs out with the group I talk to.

I’m done waiting for him.  I’m not always gonna be the one to talk first, AND HE’S NOT EVEN SHY!  He wanted me to be the first one to walk up and say, “I like you,” he wanted me to be the one to ask him out and request a relationship, he wanted me to be the one to say sorry first (even when it wasn’t my fault) and now he wants me to be the one to talk to him about this whole thing even though I TRIED AND HE DIDN’T LISTEN!  (Then he goes around telling people HE was trying to talk and I was the one ignoring him!  Wtf is wrong with that picture?)

I can’t believe feelings could change so quickly.  I mean, I wanted him to be mine, but it quickly dropped to wanting our best friendship, and now, my tolerance level is so low, I don’t even want anything to do with him!

He’s been ignoring me for the past week, avoiding me, cutting me off.  I can’t stand it!  I didn’t do anything wrong! (Yeah, maybe he was offended I didn’t tell him that night, but I didn’t want to ruin the whole party, so I thought he’d want the weekend to think about it and wonder how to react.  But the fact is, I made an effort to talk, yet he isn’t doing a thing.  It’s like he doesn’t even want to be my friend, yet he tells everyone else he wants me to like him again!)  This is so frustrating on so many levels.

Hopefully this is the last love rant.  -.-

Oh, and I lost my voice.  I can’t talk until it comes back (How am I supposed to know when it comes back if I don’t talk?) and I have presentations next week.  Hopefully it comes back by then…. I didn’t even do any yelling or anything like that.  I was just having some coughs and next morning, I find out I can’t speak louder than a whisper.  Apparently whispering puts more strain on your vocal cords than talking, so I won’t be doing that any time soon.  ._.

But since most of this post was negative-ish, I’ll tell you I managed to sell Lego Board for… I can’t remember, maybe 120k?  Thanks again, Gianna, for giving it to me!  And now I have a top seller kiosk!  It’s 7E-6 but you don’t have to buy anything…. and if you want something lowered or anything you THINK I have, lol, feel free to ask and we can work something out.  (I like to sell relatively cheaper than average, but since you’re all my friends, I’d be willing to go significantly lower… but don’t get your hopes TOO high.)

Well, I guess that’s all for this post.  Like I said, life is hard.  I’ll be here when you need me!  🙂

Sayonara! ~chbannabeth1♥



13 thoughts on “Dealing With Life

  1. i’m not trying to make you feel bad, but i feel like you just lowered his self-esteem by a lot, lol
    he probably likes you and he’s probably gonna ask you out sooner or later but he’s probably avoiding you because he feels rly sad
    i’m probably wrong, since i’m just a young teenager with no experience with relationship whatsoever, so you shouldn’t listen to me :^)


    1. xD I already felt bad, but what makes me feel even worse is that we’ve known each other for 4 years and he doesn’t have the courage to talk to me. If he likes me, I feel like he should be more bold. Actually, he stopped talking to me like a friend and started telling other people he didn’t tell me, and now he’s upset that I’m not telling him EVERYTHING. And that’s the way life works… everyone’s been telling him he was losing his chance and he seems to think everything will go perfectly if he doesn’t speak up.


      1. Maybe he knows what you’re going to say, and really likes you but wants to stay your boyfriend. And maybe during those months he was trying to build up courage to say it, because you’ve been friends for 4 years and he was probably worried that if you said no that your friendship would be broken. Or he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and wants to keep being friends, but he doesn’t know you’re going to say it too? I’m horrible at advice…..

        Liked by 1 person

        1. He was never my boyfriend in the first place, but he treated me as if we were already a couple. And he’s been longing to ask me out, I can tell by the way he acts around me, but you are right, maybe he was building up courage, but in my case, I can’t help that I feel this way about him, and that’s that. He talked to me today and apologized for ignoring me the whole week… but I still think he sees me as his lover or something, because he’s still getting too close… and staring… I’ll talk to him when I get my voice back. :\ Thanks though. 🙂


  2. I don’t know much about relationships, sorry That I can’t help!
    as for your throat, drink Tea with honey and lemon, sure it sounds a bit “icky” But it’s good for your health!

    Liked by 1 person

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