First of all, I can’t apologize enough for not posting, it’s just been really, really busy. I appreciate that all of you are still supporting me though all this stress and inactivity.
Soo… pretty boring, but all week I basically just worked on homework and stuff, nothing much. Stayed up until at least 1:00 am doing homework a night. (Except Wednesday, we had almost no homework.)
What really is interesting though, was yesterday (Friday). I went to a party and watched some frightening movies. So much went on that day, I’ll just tell you what happened in order.
I was greeted by everyone waving on the balcony. They all ran downstairs and opened the door before I had even reached the porch, which is amazingly incredible speed, if you ask me. And the house, it was huge and really nice.
Anyways, we hung out for about the first hour while we waited for everyone to arrive.
I locked some people out on the balcony a few times, too. Hehehe Eventually, we made our way downstairs and onto the couch.
We mostly watched movies, with
a lot of slight talking. The two were horror movies, one called Child’s Play and Scream. Child’s Play involved the doll named Chucky, and I won’t tell you anything else. Scream involved a mystery killer who was preying on high school students, and that’s all I’ll reveal for you. 😉 They weren’t all that scary though. The first one was creepy, yes, but it didn’t have as many dark scenes or jumpscares as I would have expected. And the second was more of a crime-mystery/drama? Again, there weren’t as many dark scenes or jumpscares, but it did include a lot more deaths and surprises. Although, we all pretty much guessed who the killer was. :^)
Now for the interesting part… my “love story”. Check out this post to get the gist of what I’ll be talking about. And if you’re too lazy to read it, basically, I had a crush on this guy I’ve known for 4 years and he really, I mean really likes me back (for all those 4 years). And now you get to know why I say I had.
*rewind* I confessed that I liked him 4 years ago and at the time, apparently he liked me back. BUT 3 girls, including me, all told him at once, so I guess he got overwhelmed and rejected the three of us. I moved on and we’ve been best friends ever since. Finally, only 2 months ago, I started to have the same feelings for him again. I confessed once again. Now, my parents told me I was allowed to date, and I told him that if he ever asked, I would say yes. Although… it’s been 2 months since then AND he’s been telling everyone that he’s been longing to ask me out, but he’s been too “scared” which there should be no reason for, seeing as he knew I was going to say yes.
Well, back to that, he actually NEVER EVER told me that he liked me until I had to confess first. But besides that, if he wanted to ask so bad and knew he wasn’t going to be rejected, what was holding him back?
So lately, he’s been getting a lot “closer” to me, and not in terms of friendship, I mean, in terms of touching.
First of all, he never even asked me to be his girlfriend nor did he even ask me out on ONE date. Sure, we’ve hung out at parties together and sat on the couch next to each other, but that doesn’t mean anything. In fact, he was a little touchy BEFORE I told him I liked him in this sense. (I just didn’t realize at the time.) He can’t expect everything his way if he’s not going to speak for himself and actually get up the courage to ask. Just because we both liked each other doesn’t mean we were automatically gf and bf, ya know?
Secondly, I never even wanted a relationship that involved so much touching! Like, seriously, I didn’t think he’d change so much just because I said I liked him. All he ever does is follow me around and try to impress me. Honestly, I don’t like people who deliberately try to impress me or treat me like I’m royalty; I like people who act naturally around me, like a friend, and have a pleasing presence.
He hugs me after every class, like, not friendly hug, but as if I was already his girlfriend. Like, NO, you did not freaking man up and ask me, you have no right to hug me like that!
This dude is always treating me like I’m already his. You cannot claim me in any way whatsoever. He acts as if we had been a couple forever, and he wanted to be my “cuddle buddy” for the scary movies without even telling me! It honestly makes me sick to think of someone claiming rights to hugging me and holding my hand like a couple when he didn’t even have the courage to ask me out.
Even when all our pushy friends tried to push us together, he never even resisted. WTF I know he likes me n all, but if he knew any proper manners, he would refuse to let them force us together that way. Every time he stood next to me, we were literally shoulder to shoulder, and whenever he stood in front of me – like 8 inches away – he would loom over me as if he were about to kiss me or something. He even told me that he wouldn’t kiss me…. at my house… basically implying he would kiss me anywhere else (this was before I liked him.) He believes he can all of a sudden touch me in romantic ways
(not sexual) just because I said I liked him? It honestly disturbs me that he thinks of me this way, as if I’m already his?? No, I’m my own person, I don’t need to ALWAYS be with you, especially since you don’t have the guts to ask me out… a simple jumble of words that doesn’t make any difference if we’ve already established that the feeling went both ways. It would only make it official, would it not?
And now… 2 months later, I just seemed to have lost interest in him. I’m not impatient or desperate, I haven’t even been waiting for him to ask, nor have I longed for him to. It just bothers me that he thinks I’m his girlfriend and that he has to touch me every time he sees me. And I want you all to understand, I’m not losing interest because he won’t ask me, I’m losing interest because he acts as if he owns me and nobody else can hug me, sit next to me, talk to me without him. It’s just annoying. Never, never would I have expected him to change this much. Ever.
So, I’m completely uninterested in a relationship with him. Yes, I don’t hate him. I want him to be my friend, to go back to the way it was, where he was funny and knew when to give me space, but now, he just doesn’t understand me anymore. And maybe I’ve changed too, but all I know is I don’t want to be his girlfriend, and I don’t want to go on a date with him. So I plan to tell him that I’m not interested the next time I see him. I know it will be hard, but I’d rather say it then have to pretend… and I’m pretty sure he heard me talking about it with my other friends, so it would hurt more to not say anything. .-. Life truly is complicated.
As for the rest of the night, I came home, had a talk with my mom about this boy, and then fell asleep on the couch… with my bunny. Apparently I slept with my bunny on the couch for 2 hours, and she didn’t even attempt to run away from me (probably because she was asleep too).
That’s about all I have to say. Questions? Comments? Advice? Leave it in the comments! Thanks for reading!