If you’ve seen my posts about school or talk to me about school or whatever, you probably know I’m under a lot of stress right now. But before I get started with my rant (I won’t be swearing, don’t worry) I’d like to say that I finally did my Japanese finals! Yes, a lot of you might think it was supposed to be last week, but the teacher decided to move it back, so I took it today. I’d say I’m pretty confident in my score, but I doubt I got 100%. Anyways, let’s move on!
So… school has been piling lots of homework lately. I have about 4 projects going on at once plus homework (lots of homework) AND tests. Basically, I have too much on my plate to handle, but I’m persevering the best I can for my grades and future.
I’m a little behind on one of my science projects (with a partner) and we’re both stressing out; don’t worry, I’ve worked with her many times before, and we both do all of our work. 🙂
And there’s another science project as well… I wouldn’t say our group (all hard workers I’ve been a team with before) is falling behind, but it’s still just another thing we have to think about, ya know? Part of that project resides in English class as well, but that part hasn’t been assigned, although, I would consider it another project (3rd one) but with the same grade as the 2nd (group)… if that made any sense.
I’ll talk about the 4th project in the next paragraph. And geometry isn’t making things easier. I hardly understood the chapter, so I have A LOT of studying to do, AND the next chapter will be graphing… something I’m absolutely horrible at. If you find graphing easy, don’t make fun of me, because we all have our skills, and we’re all different.
About the History project (the 4th one I mentioned earlier), I was the last one to get picked for a group… because everyone had already gotten into groups of 3 (by the end of class, all the groups were 4 people though…) Before all the teams were decided, there were these two guys fighting over me… remember S? and someone I’ll call T.
I didn’t get with the people I wanted, although that’s probably because we always group up on EVERY project.. so I guess we should’ve tried new people? Anyways, two of my team members I’m satisfied with, but the fourth member is so annoying. Don’t worry, it’s not K, but someone else, another very obnoxious boy (T, as I mentioned earlier). He always tries to take command as the team leader, mind you, he never does his work and always interrupts me when I’m trying to give information to the team. And this project involves making a script and performing a minidrama in front of the class (we were assigned to write about the Mormons, a group of early American settlers).
I’m just… so buried in these projects and homework and tests.
And to make it worse, my English/History teacher makes everything so complicated and unclear. So… he told us we should be half way done with our reading goals because it’s been half of the trimester, BUT he never said that he would grade our progress. With all the projects and homework, I just haven’t had time to read, so I didn’t make any progress whatsoever. When I looked at my grades, he put 0 of 100, and yeah, I got a 0, but OUT OF 100. Why does he make a grade that he didn’t even tell us was required so many points!?
It’s so annoying, and I ended up taking quizzes on books I had read in the past, rather than this trimester. He said if we could get halfway by Friday, he would give us full credit, it just wouldn’t go on our progress reports (grades for halfway through the trimester), so I’m hoping he changes my grade soon. But that 0 out of 100 brought my Reading grade from 100% all the way down to 84% because of that ONE assignment that hadn’t even been mentioned, nor was it on our agendas. It literally skipped 3 grades and went down to a B. MY FIRST B, and I’m freaking out.
He’s such a bad teacher, like, he expects me to be perfect and gets seriously disappointed in me if I don’t meet those “perfect” expectations. Does he know how hard it is for me to maintain my grades? FR I have Japanese homework, P.E. homework, and all the other class homework/projects he expects us to be able to complete in 2 hours, like, no, it takes 2 hours or more to complete an assignment for ONE class.
I just feel like I’m falling behind. I honestly think I am falling behind just by a little bit because of my lack of sleep. I find that I’m dozing off in a few classes and getting slightly worse scores on my quizzes. It’s not too bad, but it’s a lose-lose situation. If I want to complete my homework, I have to stay up late, because even with undivided focus on homework, it still takes me all night to do… but if I don’t finish homework and actually get to sleep, I’ll still be losing points and the good reputation with my teachers. All the homework assignments would add up, and eventually I’d still have bad grades.
They say, “We’re preparing you for high school and college and life,” and I’m there thinking How in the world do people get into good high school and excellent colleges, as well as take on amazing jobs, when I’m sitting here, not even in high school, and thinking it’s so hard. How in the world am I supposed to be prepared for life if I can hardly handle “a bit” of work. And I’m just trying to convince myself that all this hard work is for the best and that everything will pay off in the future.
So, I’m just, hanging in there by a thread, stressing about my grades and assignments, and breaking down just about every day because of my stress levels. Thinking about life, and complaining about the workload. I just think teachers need to take week in our position and really think about how hard it is for the students they expect to be perfect to keep up their grades.
So yeah, in one of my posts, like I said, I’m not quitting or taking a break, I’ll just be less active. I won’t be able to like or comment on every post in my reader because it takes hours to do, and I won’t be posting as much. I’ll try my best on the blogs I work on, so please don’t get mad at me if I can’t post at least once in a few weeks. (I’ll try to post at least once in 1-2 weeks), so I’m sorry to disappoint. I hope y’all don’t expect me to be perfect, the way my teachers do.
In short, if you didn’t want to read this whole post, I’m just saying I’m under a lot of stress (4 projects, lots of homework, and upcoming tests) and I’m having a hard time with my teacher, who expects too much from everyone. I’ll be posting less often, but I’m not quitting or taking a break.
Thanks to everyone who read the whole post, and sorry for making it so long. Wish me luck in school, cuz I’m seriously gonna need it! I hope y’all are doing well. 🙂